Bringing baby home for the first time although exciting, can be a little overwhelming. However, there are things you can do to prepare yourself for the next 2-4 weeks in your new role as a parent.

The last few weeks of your pregnancy are usually spent organising the perfect nursery, washing baby's clothes, trying to rest and stay comfortable, last-minute grooming appointments, frequent visits to your LMC, and catching up with friends and whanau before baby comes. The big day arrives, and two of you drive off to the hospital and eventually, three come home!

Going home with baby is such a big transition from your previous life. Mental preparation is just as important as the physical surroundings, for both you and your partner.

When you are discharged it’s the start of this new period, which we call the fourth trimester. It's exciting, busy, exhausting, surreal, and can be emotional. For some, the journey of bringing baby home hasn’t been easy, so don’t be surprised by all the new emotions surrounding how amazing your baby is, how clever you are, and the feelings of warmth and love. Luckily at this time, our bodies are still producing good levels of dopamine and endorphins (mood enhancers) and are increasing the production of oxytocin (responsible for the “let down“ of milk), and this helps with keeping us calm so that we can deal with this intense time.

Don’t forget it’s not just the birthing parent that might find this time challenging. Some new parents say they are nervous that help is not at the end of a bell, but once you are home for a short time you usually get into your groove. There is help if you feel like this, from the midwife who will be visiting, or at the back of the Wellchild book is the Plunket/Healthline number you can call to chat to someone.

My advice to parents going home is to:

Absorb as much knowledge as you can from those around you and ask them to teach you how to hand express and why.

Dress baby in warm clothing for the ride home, even if it's summer, this includes a hat.

If the staffing allows it, bath baby for the first time at the postnatal facility before you leave. This is helpful because once done, you will not need to worry about it for another 4-5 days.  Watch my newborn bathing video for helpful tips.

Have as much skin-to-skin time with baby as you can for not just the first few days but for the first 2-4 weeks. It really helps with milk supply, bonding, recovery, and settling in for both mum and baby.

Make your bedroom as comfortable and relaxing as possible, try setting up some relaxing lights and candles as this is where you will spend 80% of your time in the first few weeks. A Himalayan salt lamp is a nice calming light that can be moved into baby’s room once they move in there after 6 months.

Be patient in those first few weeks of breastfeeding, your breasts or nipples may be sensitive, and breastfeeding may be uncomfortable. It takes time for you and your baby to learn to work together. Rubbing breastmilk into your nipples after a feed can help them heal (Coconut oil and lanolin too). If you are finding breastfeeding painful and difficult don’t suffer in silence, get help from your midwife, a lactation consultant, or the Plunket family centre.

Drink coconut water for hydration, it is like an electrolyte drink. Coconut water is very good for a warm afternoon when we can get dehydrated and sluggish.

Eat well, lots of protein is good for recovery and especially good if you want to build a good milk supply. Have lots of healthy snacks available, almonds, bananas, lactation cookies, smoothies, boiled eggs, and savoury /nutritional yeast to have on toast as a quick snack (and at night too).

Babies initially don’t know about night and day, so be prepared to be deprived of sleep, as newborns need feeding every 2-3 hours. Plan and prepare your meals for at least the first two weeks to help to diminish the stress of another task. I suggest that you don’t let baby sleep for too long during the day (max 2 hours) for that first week as we know if they don’t feed enough in the day they will feed more at night. Babies generally lose 5-8% of their initial birthweight, so I suggest a loose plan of baby up for about an hour (includes feeding, changing, and cuddles) and sleeping for 2 is helpful, until we know baby is regaining their weight back.

Don’t underestimate power naps/rests. Research has shown anything from 10-20 mins is beneficial to increasing mental alertness and mood. Never make an excuse for a nap, as it is one way of looking after yourself and everybody will benefit from it. if you can’t fall asleep during the day, just resting in a quiet, dark room is still rejuvenating.

If you have pets, let them have a good sniff of baby once you get in the door. (it’s a good idea if they have already smelt baby from some clothing that has been brought home prior)

Everyone loves a newborn and wants to congratulate you and see baby. It's normal to have lots of requests to visit, but it is time to prioritise your family (and sleep), so it's okay to say no.

Now, because of covid, it is more acceptable to restrict visitors and to ask if all family members of visitors are well and have not been on international flights or in large crowds. It is prudent also to check on your friend’s toddler's vaccination status and if any bugs are going around their childcare facilities/school.

These first weeks at home with the baby are precious and there is a lot to learn about your new baby. They change so much during these weeks.

Communicate well with your partner, as the demands of having a newborn can be tough. If you feel you are not sleeping well, having emotional outbursts, or are anxious and crying a lot, seek help from your LMC, GP, Plunket, or whanau. It’s always good to let your LMC know if you have struggled with your mental health in the past, as they can help put a plan in place for extra support when baby comes.

- Article by Libby Cain